Why I set time aside to be with Jesus.

I'm not a job hopper.  I'm not a church hopper.  In fact, I'm so insanely stable that my life could easily be deemed as boring.

Married to the same man for years (thankfully)
lived in the same town my whole life
worked at the same job for 20 years
went to the same church for 20 years

see a pattern here?

I think that's why change has "shaken" me.  Well, shaken is a strong word.  I'm good most days.  But I must say that I find it interesting that the same weekend, last May, God had me resign my job of 20 years at WTHI, and had me resign my worship leading position at First Christian Church in Marshall and moved me to a new job and new church.

We say that our identity is wrapped up in Christ, and in truth, it is.  But quite frankly, let's face it, much of our identity is wrapped up in what we do.

And for me, that all shifted in one weekend.

I realize that my small life change holds no comparison to someone who relocates and starts over, or someone who loses a loved one and is trying to find a new normal.  I get that.  But I suppose because my life had become SO routine, for SO long... nine months into the change, I find myself, every once in a while, still asking this question:

Who am I, and where am I?

That happened last night.  I woke up in the middle of the night and had that thought.  Then I had a very quick conversation with God.  That went something like this,

"why did you change everything the same weekend?  I feel like it messed up my identity..."

I pondered that thought and how my life looked different. Excited about the new church and new job, but also recognizing that it did cause me to struggle a bit with my "perceived identity."  My brain soaked on all of that for a while until I fell back to sleep.

When morning came, I rolled out of bed, got my coffee, and did what I always do...sat down to have some quiet time with Jesus.

My brain was no longer pondering my mid-night emotions, but evidently Jesus wanted to answer my thoughts anyway, for when I picked up my morning devotion from Jesus Calling, this is what I read:

"I am the Risen One who shines upon you always. You worship a living Deity, not some idolatrous, man-made image. Your relationship with Me is meant to be vibrant and challenging, as I invade more and more areas of your life. Do not fear change, for I am making you a new creation, with old things passing away and new things continually on the horizon. When you cling to old ways and sameness, you resist My work within you. I want you to embrace all that I am doing in your life, finding your security in Me alone.It is easy to make an idol of routine, finding security within the boundaries you build around your life. Although each day contains twenty-four hours, every single one presents a unique set of circumstances. Don’t try to force-fit today into yesterday’s mold. Instead, ask Me to open your eyes, so you can find all I have prepared for you in this precious day of Life."

That, my friends, is exactly why I set time aside to be with Jesus.  

To give Him a chance to speak into my life.  To answer my questions.  To ask Him questions. To just be with Him.

Conversation.  Relationship.  Closeness.  Guidance.  Comfort.  Security.  It's all there...and so much more.

If you don't set time aside right now, I so encourage you to do so.  Make time for the one who created you.

There's a book called The Truest Thing About You by David Lomas...if you are struggling with your identity, this could be a good read for you (and me).  Here's a trailer about it

Night of Worship

My heart and flesh cry out for the living God....If yours does too...join us...

How do we "Dwell" with God, when we have jobs and other work to do...

At Maryland Community Church our current series is "Dwell". Abiding in His presence.  But how do we "dwell" with God, when we have jobs to do?  How do I listen to him, and listen to my earthly boss at work?  How do I listen to him and do the dishes?  It's easy to listen to Him when I'm in my quiet time and can give Him my full attention, but what about the rest of the day?

I read the following this morning in A.W. Tozer's book, "The Pursuit of God".  I love that the subject of it, went right along with the subject of our sermon series.  I thought I'd share what Mr. Tozer has to say about "dwelling" with God....

"Lift your heart and let it rest upon Jesus and you are instantly in a sanctuary though it be a Pullman berth or a factory or a kitchen. You can see God from anywhere if your mind is set to love and obey Him.

Now, someone may ask, "Is not this of which you speak for special persons such as monks or ministers who have by the nature of their calling more time to devote to quiet meditation? I am a busy worker and have little time to spend alone." I am happy to say that the life I describe is for everyone of God's children regardless of calling. It is, in fact, happily practiced every day by many hard working persons and is beyond the reach of none. Many have found the secret of which I speak and, without giving much thought to what is going on within them, constantly practice this habit of inwardly gazing upon God. They know that something inside their hearts sees God. Even when they are compelled to withdraw their conscious attention in order to engage in earthly affairs there is within them a secret communion always going on. Let their attention but be released for a moment from necessary business and it flies at once to God again. This has been the testimony of many Christians, so many that even as I state it thus I have a feeling that I am quoting, though from whom or from how many I cannot possibly know. 

I do not want to leave the impression that the ordinary means of grace have no value. They most assuredly have. Private prayer should be practiced by every Christian. Long periods of Bible meditation will purify our gaze and direct it; church attendance will enlarge our outlook and increase our love for others. Service and work and activity; all are good and should be engaged in by every Christian. But at the bottom of all these things, giving meaning to them, will be the inward habit of beholding God. A new set of eyes (so to speak) will develop within us enabling us to be looking at God while our outward eyes are seeing the scenes of this passing world."

This week, together, let's practice His presence.

The Great Reversal

It's not that we can't have things....but are we willing to give them up to follow Christ?
It's not that we can't love our family....we should love our family...but do we love Jesus more than anyone else?
Who, or what, sits on the throne of your heart, and mine?
Will we put Him first above all things and people?

Mark 10:17-31 MSG

As he went out into the street, a man came running up, greeted him with great reverence, and asked, “Good Teacher, what must I do to get eternal life?” Jesus said, “Why are you calling me good? No one is good, only God. You know the commandments: Don’t murder, don’t commit adultery, don’t steal, don’t lie, don’t cheat, honor your father and mother.” He said, “Teacher, I have—from my youth—kept them all!” Jesus looked him hard in the eye—and loved him! He said, “There’s one thing left: Go sell whatever you own and give it to the poor. All your wealth will then be heavenly wealth. And come follow me.” 

My thought:  was the rich young man trying to get to heaven by following a list of rules, when what Jesus wanted was for him to know and follow HIM?  Did the rich young man really care more about his material possessions, than God?  Do I?

The man’s face clouded over. This was the last thing he expected to hear, and he walked off with a heavy heart. He was holding on tight to a lot of things, and not about to let go.

My thought:  what might I be holding onto that I don't want to surrender??

 Looking at his disciples, Jesus said, “Do you have any idea how difficult it is for people who ‘have it all’ to enter God’s kingdom?” The disciples couldn’t believe what they were hearing, but Jesus kept on: “You can’t imagine how difficult. I’d say it’s easier for a camel to go through a needle’s eye than for the rich to get into God’s kingdom.” That set the disciples back on their heels. “Then who has any chance at all?” they asked. Jesus was blunt: “No chance at all if you think you can pull it off by yourself. Every chance in the world if you let God do it.” 

My thought:  Do we have it so easy...are we so comfortable that we don't need Jesus?  Our money buys us everything we need?  Keeps us from recognizing and realizing that we need Him to provide for us?  We can't buy heaven.  We can't purchase a ticket to get in.  But thankfully, Jesus purchased it for us when He died on the cross.  He offers it as a gift to us, but we have to accept it.  We can accept it by believing that He is the son of God.  That He died on the cross for the forgiveness of our sins.  By accepting Him as Lord of our life.


Peter tried another angle: “We left everything and followed you.” Jesus said, “Mark my words, no one who sacrifices house, brothers, sisters, mother, father, children, land—whatever—because of me and the Message will lose out. They’ll get it all back, but multiplied many times in homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children, and land—but also in troubles. And then the bonus of eternal life! This is once again the Great Reversal: Many who are first will end up last, and the last first.”

My thought:  great reversal.  Surrender all to gain more.  Die to self to fully live.

I Feel Like I'm Falling in Love Again (on the other side of chaos)

Perhaps this post is just for me.  Just to document the journey.  Just to capture and remember the ebb and flow of my life...my relationship with Jesus.  I could type this in my journal, but for whatever reason, I feel that He wants me to type it here.  So, here I am.

I don't know why we go through some of the things we do in life.  Whether it's simply His sovereignty that determines that? or the enemy?  or perhaps our disobedience?  Or, did I miss a direction that He was giving me?  Like, was I supposed to take a left turn in Albuquerque, and I didn't, so I ended up on some sort of wrong path?

All I know is, the last few years have been different....not in a good way.

The demands of my job, as well as the duties of my job, were sucking the life out of me.   I couldn't get a grip.  I couldn't rise above it.  No matter how determined I was to set my will to have a great attitude, and to set my eyes on Christ, I couldn't seem to keep my attitude great or to keep my eyes on Christ...though I tried with all my might...and then tried some more.

It was life interuppted. Seemingly chaos.  My normal day in day out positive attitude that I had always had, seemed to be bulldozed into oblivion.

I had walked for YEARS experiencing Jesus throughout my day, but now because my days were cluttered with chaos, it was as if I couldn't find Him through the maze of the mess.  The One I have built my life on, the One who loves me more than anyone, I couldn't seem to locate.  At least not on any consistent basis...

"So where has this love of yours gone, fair one.  Where on earth can He be?  Can we help you look for Him?"  Song of Solomon 6:1

And oddly enough, at the time when my daily life seemed the most cluttered and messed up, He was "using" me in ministry, and growing my ministry more than ever.  

Leading worship at church week in week out.  Leading worship at women's conferences around the country.  Having the privilege to minister with many Women of Faith and Proverbs 31 Speakers.  I'm not trying to be boastful, that's simply where He had me.  

I loved serving Him in this manner.  The women's conferences, in particular were places where I would feel His presence.  Feel energized.  Refreshed.  Even though I was serving and there to refresh others, I found this to be true...

"He who refreshes others will Himself be refreshed..."  Proverbs 11:25

But then I'd come back home to the daily grind.  Chaos.  Clutter.

In the daily space, I literally had come to a point where I felt like I had lost myself.  I was no longer the person I used to be.  I was at my wits end, primarily because my daily job no longer suited me.  But the effects of the daily grind overflowed into every area of my life.  My family.  My ministry (primarily weekly worship leading at FCC). And my relationship with Christ.

In one fell swoop, God seemingly changed courses for me.  He began to speak to me about my job, and our church.  In one weekend, the same weekend, He had me resign from my jobs.  Both my daily job where I made money, and my worship leading "job".

He moved me to a new job, and a new church.

He gave me respite.  He cleared the clutter from my brain.  He allowed me to settle in with Him, and settle, I've done.  Rekindling the flame for my passion for Christ and all that He has purposed for me.

I feel like I am falling in love again. 

"I'm my beloved's and He is mine."  Song of Solomon 6:3

All this to say, if you're overwhelmed with the craziness and chaos of life and can't seem to rise above it, I "get" it.  I've been there too, and it's no fun.

My suggestions would be, CARVE out time for Christ.  Whether you feel Him speaking to you or not, stay faithful to meeting with Him. (sometimes the clutter blocks the way of us being still and able to hear His voice).  Trust that He has purpose in your chaos.  Pray to see if there is anything you should change, or that He can change for you.  Breathe deep.  Lean on Him with your whole being.

While in the mess, I felt God stirring me to both write and record songs.  Songs that ministered to me in the mess.  Which is the whole reason I made my CD "Breath of Life".  Simple songs of worship from the mess of life.

Whatever the reason for my own particular chaos....I'm glad I'm on the other side, and I find myself more "guarded" than ever.  A healthy "guarded", saying yes to only the things that I feel Him telling me to say "yes" to, and dismissing all else to someone else's area to serve.

I said yes to writing this blog post, and yes to posting this song.  For Him, and for You.  I pray that if you're overwhelmed by life, that God will meet you in the mess as you listen...